Support to someone during a medical journey can greatly impact one's world. Empathy and understanding provide crucial comfort to an often overwhelming experience(s) and, given our natural human need to feel safe, it can also create a safe space allowing people to express themselves when needed the most.
So, the question becomes, how do you best support someone in hospital, going through a medical journey or whom may be experiencing a traumatic event?
We'd like to tell you our answers to this but from the eyes of a patient, parent, caregiver or close family member. It's our hope in providing these tips in simply how you choose to be present, offer distractions, and provide some form of uplifting gesture to aid in how someone feels that you understand it can support someone or, it can bring them to a different kind of low.
Let's do this together.
Helpful Tips for Supporting Someone in Hospital, going through a Medical Journey or, Experiencing a Traumatic Event while Choosing to Be at Your Best:
- Be Patient. Maintaining patience requires conscious effort in handling negative emotions, reframing challenges, and focusing on goals and values. Let whomever you are supporting choose if they want your support and let them lead conversations remembering to have patience in all your responses. If they choose not to have so much of your support that is okay - respect that and remind them you are there.
- Be Mindful. To be mindful is to focus on or be particularly aware of something. In these scenarios, it's crucial to acknowledge the elephant in the room without fixating on it. Supporting individuals to feel as ordinary as possible is key. They often don't want to talk about it or be reminded of it - they want to feel normal again. And yet if they do want to talk about it, again, let them lead the conversation. Their diagnosis IS NOT their identity.
- Be Creative. Creativity involves demonstrating the capacity to innovate or generate fresh concepts. Life has changed and not just for them but for everyone involved. This can be hard to accept and see in the moment when the outcome is unknown. Choosing to be creative while supporting someone in how you will adapt to different situations with ease is not only skillful but if done well, with good communication and with good intent, it may be the nicest thing you could do in the moment even if it's the littlest of things.
- Be Inspirational. Feeling hopeful or encouraged is a result of being inspirational. Yeah, be inspirational and meet the person where they are at. If the person, caregiver, parent or immediate family member is struggling with a diagnosis, don't approach them in an overly positive manner. Instead, meet them where they are and help them work towards acceptance and even consider asking if you can help them to seek out good things in the present moment.
- Be Supportive (Don't forget about the Parent/Caregiver/Immediate Family Members!). Supportive behavior entails embracing another by providing help or lifting them up. Often in these circumstances it feels like you've taken a really bad fall. In fact, its so overwhelming at times that you are unsure how you can get up because of how badly it hurts or what you don't know. Be 'that supportive person' that no matter how far the fall was that you are there, they know you are there and be there to catch them or lift them up if they've fallen. Be present.
- Be Personal. The human connection is the capacity to empathize with individuals facing such situations in real-time. Evaluate the relationship you share and strive to assist in ways that your friend or loved one will understand and appreciate on a personal level.
- Be an Advocate. Advocacy involves receiving assistance from another individual to articulate your perspectives and desires, and assist you in asserting your rights. Everyone can use an advocate at one time or another. If you are supporting by being an advocate be 100% certain you are chosen to be an advocate and from there communicate effectively and be accountable, when they are ready, be to discuss all outcomes simply and clearly.
- Be an Effective Communicator. Being an effective communicator requires us to be clear and complete in what we are trying to express with clarity, empathy and understanding. To someone in circumstances of trauma, having to go through a medical journey or being in hospital communication is key. We'd love to relate this to how everyone chooses to communicate. For example, helpful things to say to someone are: 'I don't know exactly what to say, but please know I am here and I do care a lot', 'What can I do for you?', 'I am always here for you if ever want to chat', 'I'm sorry this happened to you'. On the other hand, it's not really practical nor is it ideal to say things along the lines of, 'I know exactly how you feel', 'You look different', 'I'm sure you'll be fine', 'God will take care of it' or ' When (blank - name a person you know) had this diagnosis, (fill in the blank) happened'. Saying loose things without understanding their power can bring a person to a different kind of low.
- Be Practical. Being a practical person means you behave in ways that relate more to the realities of the world than to ideas or desires. Actively listen and speak less. This is more practical than we can express.
- Be Generous. To be generous refers to ones willingness to give money, be of help, show kindness, and more. When going through these circumstances the world does not stop. Your bills add up. Your stress adds up. Your worries compound. Your heart becomes burdened and heavy. Choosing to be supportive by being generous in a way in which you can provide support to those that need it the most is admirable. You may not be present but that donation you made, that gift you gave just made someone smile that my friends is beautiful.
That's all from us today. We hope you've learnt a thing or two from what we've shared so you can find ways to be the best version of yourself while you support others in their journey.
- The Lurepa Team